This Girl That Place

Awhhh yes, the new year is upon us. The time when retailers move fitness equipment and clothing to the front of the store, friends and family are vowing to be the best version of themselves and to make the most of the upcoming year, and there are weeks filled with scratching out 2017 on pretty much everything. There’s nothing inherently bad with any of the things we do in the hours leading up to and into the new year I mean if one day on the calendar can help anyone create a vision or desire to be a better person just think what you can do with the other 364.

If wanting something is all it took to get ahead in life we’d all have penthouse suites and tigers on gold leashes. The idea, the thought, the intention to go after whatever it is you want is crucial but it rarely carries the catalyst to get things going. One of my life’s lessons has been the distinct difference between intention and intent. The first is a thought and the second a verb. Think all the thoughts you want, let them lead you to a path that excites or scares you. Just make sure when you take off in pursuit of whatever it is you do it with great intent-that you follow through and even when you stumble or completely eat shit that you learn to watch for what caused the fall and avoid it as you continue on your journey.

Discover that a path isn’t for you? For shits sake change it- you are never too old or too young to reroute your life-you just need to believe in your gut and in the process. I left a job with a very comfortable salary and took a $30k a year pay cut to go work on MAFB eight months after Ken died. I was uninspired and as an effective leader up to that point I feared that I would undo every ounce of good I had done there. This was one of the most selfless decisions I’ve made my entire life. I took a step down from a leadership role that fulfilled so many of my values and personal needs and I took a step back into a familiar past I had literally retired from. Not one person tried to talk me out of it- I’d like to think it’s because they trusted my judgement. It ended up being the best decision I had made in that first year. I got to regain my focus on what I needed in that moment and what I wanted for my future. I met people who shook me up in the best of ways and some of them still rock my soul. I took a giant leap on what my gut was telling me and hoped my parachute would open. The real lesson in all of this is that you know what you need, what’s right for you more than any other person on the planet. Your intuition can be your best friend or quite the bitch depending on how well you listen….or don’t.

So having a vision of what you want, pursuing it with intent, and trusting your “gut” during the process….what’s left? Two things- forgiveness and living your life in 3D

The forgiveness principle I believe in is that it’s ok to acknowledge exactly who people are to you. You are never under any obligation to change who you are or what you do because someone might get hurt or be sad you don’t feel the same way. You have to be the most authentic version of yourself if you want to find and live your real purpose. We are read fairytales from a very young age and we buy into the idea that the “one” will present themselves and that’s it- down the rabbit hole we go to live out our forever. What if I told you I’ve met the love of my life several times over and it’s hasn’t been the same person any of those times? Some people have taught me more in a single day than others could over a lifetime, some have helped me see what others see in me and others positive influences have changed me in the most remarkable of ways. I felt connected to them and I believe they did to me as well- I loved them for who they are to me. But I didn’t marry them, or pass years beside them, but that doesn’t lessen their significance because they were the best life experiences every time . So please forgive yourself for being true to who you need in your life when they don’t fit into the box of norms society has given you and forgive yourself for including or excluding people as you grow with and out of situations. This is your life and whether it’s a shit show or the greatest show on earth it’s all yours to do what you want with who you want…..every fucking minute of it. There are more times than not that your own approval is all you really need.

We all get that 2D is flat and 3D has depth. Reread that first sentence….sound like our lives? We tend to move along life in 2D kind of like Flat Stanley. We go along with the flow of everyday life and while we appear to be present we lack the depth to actually be present in our own lives. We fall into the comfort of having two sides that flip between the expected and the ordinary. How much are we missing by staying flat?!?! I don’t even think we intend to have a 2D life. I think in trying to control what is going on or settling for less than we deserve in any one of the crucial areas of our life the weight of all that compresses and squeezes the life out of us until we’re flat and empty. How can you fill yourself up with all you need to live your best life if there’s no depth, no place to put it? The answer is you can’t. But you can get your 3D shape back. Surround yourself with people who encourage you, who want you to succeed. Fall in love with people who make a difference in who you are and how you view even the smallest of things. Choose to give without any regard to ever getting it back in return. Become a priority in your own life. Become a person who has a goal, who goes after it in wild pursuit, trust the process, forgive yourself along the way, and become a person of depth-the world needs you and they will welcome you with open arms……