This Girl That Place

I opened my laptop and logged into my blog page only to realize I haven’t typed a word on here in just over two years. How is that even possible? What did I do with the collection of thoughts that swirl in my head like fresh cream in coffee? Since the assumption that my head would blow up if I didn’t write what I was feeling has been busted, I suppose I’ll pick up where I left off….or maybe fast forward a year or so.

It’s tempting to throw out the expected “I don’t know how I got here, all the way to 52” but, I know how. I have lines were smiles have been and those furrowed, WTF lines between my eyes have a little more depth. I’ve laughed until I’ve cried and cried until I laughed in pure wonderment of the shit life presents us with. Am I finally the person I was always meant to be? Maybe. I’m afraid to say yes in the event the universe takes that as my final answer and the opportunity for more wisdom and experiences ceases. I’d hate to have to stop sharing what I’ve learned at 52, wink.

1. I will forever start my list with how understated having a good set of towels and knives are. If you’ve ever dried off with a towel that has the pile count of new carpet, then you get it. If you haven’t trust me, you need to. As for knives, you don’t need the whole damn knife block- just one or two that feel good in your hand and slide through whatever it is you’re cutting. It’s a game changer.
2. In the end, we all become stories. If people wanted you to write nicely about them they should have behaved better
3. Stop trying to figure it all out. The desire to know everything robs you of enjoying the moment you’re in
4. Being normal isn’t a virtue. It’s ok to feel out of place like the moon during the day or awkward AF like I do…all the time
5. My baby is 282 months old and I’m still trying to lose my pregnancy weight
6. You’re always one decision away from a totally differnt life- the universe always rewards a brave heart
7. I”ve woken up over 18,000 times and I’m still not use to it
8. I’ve been that mother-that really focused, engaged, loving mother who was enjoying every single minute. I’ve also been the mother who couldn’t answer one more question, listen to anymore crying, or clean up one more mess. I love both versions because each one was giving all she had
9. Never put the key to your happiness in someone elses pocket
10. It might take ability to get to the top but it’ll take character to keep you there. Character is what seperates a manager from a leader
11. Always trust vibes- energy doesn’t lie
12. I hope to arrive at my death late, in love, and a little drunk- Atticus
13. Not everything is supposed to become something beautiful and long lasting- some poeple are there to walk with you to the next phase in your life or how you should and should not to be loved
14. It’s a personal victory to sleep through the night and not get up to pee at least once
15. When you know better, then do better (reference #6)
16. People give me too much credit for being strong. I’m resilient, there’s a difference. Life has happened to me and I figured out a way to pick my head back up and limp until I could walk
17. Most of us deserve a sheet of gold stars for making it through our day and conquering ourselves and the world around us
18. Parts of my life can be explained as follows: “That didn’t go the way I thought it would” and “shit”
19. There are other parts of my life that my children are the reason why- most of the important parts
20. Attitude is the difference between an ordeal and an adventure- just say no to drama
21. Why do I take pictues of clouds and grass and food and people I love? Like 24k worth of pictures in my cloud….because they’re a return ticket to a moment that’s gone
22. I’ll never ask anyone to be anything other than exactly who they are. It gets confusing and exhausting to wear a decoder ring and decipher which version of a person your interacting with
23. Dont chase people; attract them. Work hard and be yourself. The rest will take care of itself
24. Be like a tree and let the dead leaves drop- sometimes it feels better to be lighter
25. Wear your soul like clothes and put on your positive pants. If they’re in the hamper wear your sassy pants
26. When a flower doesn’t bloom you change the environment not the flower- do the same for yourself
27. I’ve pondered this thought for a long time- are some people born to give more love than they’ll ever get back? I think I’m one of those people and I don’t mind at all
28. It’s a weird feeling to leave people and not only miss them but the person you are when you’re with them. I have friends that overfill my buckets and I miss that when we’re apart
29. Unspoken expectations are equivalent of a plastic bag over my head- they slowly suffocate me
30. Everyone, and I mean everyone has a chapter in their life they don’t want read outloud. I have a few plus a few more
31. Never do the insecure, jealousy, and envy stuff. Be the hustler, go getter, and well wisher kind of person
32. Never touch anything with half of your heart. It’s tempting to use people and situations as time fillers but it’s a soul suck for everyone
33. You have trillions of cells- why do you let one negative thought make all of them suffer? Let feelings be the visitors that they are and let them leave
34. We waste so many days waiting for the weekend and it’s one of the biggest thiefs of life. Do something on a Tuesday- even if it’s a school night
35. I wish I was one of those people who could eat two pieces of pizza and be full
36. Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face- Mike Tyson
37. Everyone should smile- life really isn’t that serious. The sun rises. The sun sets. We just complicate the process
38. If you don’t use Starbucks napkins as Kleenex in your car I’m not sure I can ride with you and your fanciness
39. If death has taught me anything it’s to be fucking honest about how you feel about people while you’re alive
40. When I’m with him, love needs no explanation. It just is and we just are. He loves me in such a way that I feel free and that’s priceless
41. I love being a Mimi. There is something magical about the connection Charli and I have. I’m the one person she doesn’t test and she’s the one person I cut grilled cheese into shapes for- it just works
42. The more years I spend on this earth the more I stop looking for the good in people. I look for the real in people
43. Knowing that some people marry prison pen pals makes me feel better about some of the choices I’ve made
44. Life changes, people change. Just remember them for the good they added to your life, send them love and move along. Not everyone is going to see you for who you are while they’re holding on to a version of you they can judge
45. You attract the right things when you have a sense of who you are- trust me on this one
46. For the longest time I thought I needed to be more organized. Now I know I just needed less stuff. I crave simplicity in so many ways. Don’t get me wrong, I like nice things, just fewer of them
47. I have a happy personality with a heavy soul- it gets weird sometimes
48. Sometimes miracles are as simple as good people with kind hearts
49. The older I get the more quiet I become. Life has humbled me and made me realize how much time I wasted on nonsense- literal nonsense
50. Most people are searching for happiness outside of themselves- it’s a trap! Happiness is something you are, and it comes from the way you think. I genuinely wake up happy
51. We have enough youth- what about a fountain of smart?
52. When I say the other day I could be referring to anytime between yesterday and 15 years ago