My 50 at 50’ish

I know, I know I’m a few weeks ahead of my 50th birthday but when my thoughts align and the compulsion to write takes over, I don’t stand in the way with reasoning and rationality. I mean after all I am closer to 50 than 49….. For the last three years I’ve made a list…

I don’t want to know sh*t about f*ck

On the turn of a dime I found myself back in North Dakota last week to bring support of some type to a chaotic situation that sits close to my heart. As the miles lessened and the landing gear dropped on my last flight, I could feel the pressure building up inside of me. It…

49.5

Six months away from 50 and here I sit, looking at a series of tiny bruises on my fingertips. I’ve been testing my blood sugar off and on since I woke up today. Am I diabetic? No and that was confirmed today by the 7 tests I’ve done so far. Why did I just type…

Priceless

I’m tired. Not the kind of tired that comes from “just one more episode” and not the kind of tired that happens when busy seems to be the only adjective that describes your life. It’s the kind of tired that sits on my chest so I can’t take in a deep enough breath to exhale….

Homesick

I get anxious and itchy at the first glimpse of August on the calendar. It’s like time has created a monster, with a time bomb attached to it, and I wait for it to come through on cue, and wreck a few buildings. It doesn’t matter how many walls I put up or how many…

Sailing

I believe it was Buddha that said ” The trouble is, you think you have time.” Times passage is defined by what the moments mean to you. Just think about how different 30 seconds can feel. The rapid heart beat you feel 30 seconds before you stand up in front of a group and talk, the 30 seconds before…

Love in the Drivers Seat

Have you ever thought about how many things cross our minds in one day? The purposeful, the random, the silly, and the emotion provoking. We spend a split second contemplating a strangers crooked smile or invest a few minutes asking a friend why they don’t sound like themselves today. We tuck away gut feelings until we’re…

Let. It. Go.

I was finally able to pour a bowl of Cheerios now that the box was rescued from the top of my cabinets. I got my almond milk out of the fridge and glanced at the expiration date. It was August 23rd. My heart sank for a second as I proceeded to talk myself out of…

Where’s the Eject Button?

I think that rejection is one of the most brain bending, soul wilting emotions that we, as humans, have to process through. It comes in the form of other people and it seems to latch on to the weakest thoughts we have about ourselves. But, if we’re lucky enough, we’ll use it as part of…

The other side of the invisible line

I’ve had the urge to write over the last week and I found myself balking every time I flipped open my laptop. The world outside my window has been loud and the things I read and attempt to interpret on my scroll through social media and the news leave me wondering if I should be…

Rain or Shine

It was a dreary, rainy day today. I had to leave my dry sanctuary for an appointment and swiped half assed through my coat options in the hall closet while hoping to get myself out the door with just enough time to find a parking spot downtown. Too fluffy, leather and water don’t mix, made…

No receipts, no returns

There’s a Swedish word that I’m enamored with, Lagom. It means neither too little or too much, just right. I actually have that definition blown up in a 24×36 picture that hangs on the wall above my bed. That word, that principle can be applied to so many things in life, in my life……#goals If…