Just don’t call me yours…

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe this is day 6,752 of quarantine, right? I think I’ve cycled through every emotion I know. Trapped, restless, sad, optimistic, helpless, happy, tired, and today I’ve been mad. Mad that the life I knew, that we all knew, stopped on a dime. Mad that this “new” normal…

Tick Tock

I read a meme the other day that said “It’s tonight already? What’s next, tomorrow? F*ck this”. One of the most relatable things I’ve seen to date. I have a weird relationship with time as it is so isolation with a sprinkle of uncertainty on top is the recipe for either self discovery or self…

Can’t I just be the invisible?

Have you ever had so much time on your hands that you felt like you were going to explode? Yeah, I hadn’t either until recently. I want to capture how I’m feeling in this moment because I might be tempted to punch myself in the face if I ever say “I just need a few…

Tangled

I quite honestly couldn’t tell you what day of quarantine this is. I know the date because it shows in my email and I only know the day of the week when it’s Thursday because Wednesday is one of my favorite days of the week. The blur of time is strange because really all that’s…

Just Another Bus Ride

I woke up feeling like a chocolate Easter bunny today. The outside looks like it does on most any other day except, the inside is hollow. It’s a strange feeling but it doesn’t unnerve me like it use to. I acknowledged it, I thought of all the things I could do to make its presence…

Day Three: Pandemic: 0 Rachel: 1

I have a ton of work to do tonight and my mind is in a strange place. The world outside has never been so chaotic yet the pulse and pace of things have slowed to a crawl. We’re finding humor in a toilet paper shortage and sharing press releases, advice from medical experts, and apocalyptic…

48 at 48

With 49 on the horizon, I’ve caught myself thinking about where I’ve been and how I arrived here. Have I done enough with my life? Did I zig when I should have zagged? Are those times I was a complete asshole going to come back to haunt me? Have I left people better than I…

One less piece, please

I haven’t written anything lately that didn’t revolve around organizational performance or some type of project. But today, today something was tugging at my hair and dragging me behind this keyboard to turn all the messy thoughts that swirl around in my head into something relatable and real. My memories on social media the last…

The Roaring 20’s

I’m sitting in the Minneapolis airport, 1/4 of the way through a three hour layover, and I’ve been listening to a couple next to me fight about the holidays and who’s family was less worthy of their time since they didn’t have a lot to share. I got to thinking if I ever had “those”…

Tetris

I’ve been sick the last few days. I feel like dog shit- well I guess that would only be true if metaphorically dog shit feels like a sinus infection and bronchitis. I’m on an antibiotic that makes my guts churn, an inhaler that keeps my heart rate in the fat burning zone, and steroids that…

What it is and what it is not

I don’t talk openly about the day Ken died. It’s not because it floods my mind with details I want to forget or that it sets me back to a place I try to stay on the other side of. It’s because my reality, the one that I now live, is all the awkwardness that…

Wisdom isn’t just for teeth

I made a comment to a friend today that I wish I had a quarter of the wisdom I have now in my 20’s and 30’s. I had a lot of hard lessons and forced resets and restarts but, the sense of freedom I have today, allows for a little bit of peace to fall…